Meeting new people can get a little nerve wrecking, and forming new bonds maybe even Scarier, today I’m going to share a few ideas on how to make friends.
Say Hello
It sounds simple right? Try saying hello in real life, not online. Does the thought of a face-to-face interaction with a stranger make you cringe? If does not make you anxious in anyway, koodoos to you but if it does, you may want to continue reading this article.
We live in an era that has really minimised human interactions, almost everything has been made accessible online, everything is a touch away.
Do not get me wrong I love the convenience; however, I am of the view that it takes something from the feel of real interactions. Almost everyone is socially awkward, we struggle to have healthy friendships, or we altogether struggle to make any.
It’s funny how we think saying hi or sorry is a sign of weakness or a complete degradation, but it’s not, look at it as empowerment. You get to make the first move, romanticise that thought, I promise it works!
Today I want to challenge you to say hello whenever you like a person, I challenge you to push your boundaries, nothing is wrong with choosing a person to be your friend. Get out of that shell and face the world.
Show some interest!
Now that you and your friend are past Hellos, you need to take time to get to know your friend. Be the first to ask for their contacts, call them, set up dates, be the initiator. Show interest in the other person and their life, in this process, really get to know your friend.
Make it your business to study them, may sound like a chore and it might just be, but its an important step and you need to leap at it.
Give space to let them choose you!
I may sound contradictory, but I would like to believe I am not. As we you are showing interest to your friend’s life, take it one baby step at a time, friends are not like our families, we are born into families of different individuals who love us because they just don’t have a choice.
We don’t get to pick and choose who makes part of our family, we don’t choose who becomes our primary object of affection. In friendships, However, we choose who we want but we must also understand that they must choose us.
Not everyone is readily open for friendships, it may be difficult for this new friend to be vulnerable about their lives in that way. Remember to be patient, it may take a while.
The other side of the Space Coin!
keep going, you are doing great! As you, Proceed, think on friendship dynamics, and teach yourself to respect them. It’s kind of difficult being a friend because on the one hand you are a pace setter and on the other you await your friends approval.
Your friendship is new, certainly not at the heart of the inner circle, start as acquaintances, maybe get a little casual here and there, the more you hang out the more you move closer and closer to the inner circle.
For now, take things one day at a time. The friend you met today maybe someone who in 5 years’ will be your best friend, but today they are not. Do not overload them with Information they can’t understand yet, be light in your conversation and if you have to share, share the lighter issues in your life and see how they handle those things.
You do not want to become the person who shares too much too soon, you put your friendship at risk to operate on the Sympathy generated for you and your struggles. I’m not saying this to invalidate your struggles.
I say this because your struggles are a phase in your life, they are not who you are and who you are makes is what makes friends, avoid looking like a victim at any chance you get.
Over sharing is not just about your problems, it’s the sharing of your issues too early, sharing your deepest darkest secrets, stories involving failed friendships, stories of people in your life and how disappointing you think they are.
You must remember to take it always slow, you don’t want to give your new friend loyalty anxiety, don’t put pressure on them.
Be Kind
Congratulation! You have got yourself a friend. Now, be always Kind. Be kind in your speech and mannerism, in your conduct always show the spirit of appreciation and love, in speech share hope and truth.
You are privileged enough to find someone who is willing to share life with you, someone who volunteers to be there for, no incentives, no money, no punishment there are just there for you, I think it almost goes without saying, Be Kind!